Jul 28, 2010

Spiritual Secrets REVEALED!

I am reading a 50 Day Devotional by Kara Davis, MD called Spiritual Secrets to Weight Loss. I have been trying to do this type of study on my own for years, so when I found this book at the library I grabbed it. Basically, she runs through healthy eating, BMI's, exercise, and covenants in the first chapter and then has a scripture and prayer for every day. There goes MY dream of writing a book like this, but I have thoroughly enjoyed every day's reading. It would be great material for a weight loss class at church or as a bible study for dieters. It's like an amped up Weight Watchers. She hit every nail on the head in just the first chapter.

... we will focus on health rather than personal goals so that it will help to keep our motives pure. Our personal goals are usually just that - personal. Let's be honest; they are often based on such things as a desired clothing size, attractiveness to the opposite sex, and wanting to avoid embarrassment at high school reunions... But God is never glorified through
self-centeredness. So we ought to set a goal to honor Him through living in a manner that reflects His attributes of discipline, self-control, temperance, prudence, and sobriety.

And also...

Along with emotions, we also have a flesh nature. It is the flesh nature that drives us to indulgence, excess, and gluttony. Food advertisers target out flesh nature through catchy slogans. Certainly you should "have it your way" and "obey your thirst," because the bottom line is you really "can't stop eating 'em." And the flesh, once satisfied, will always respond with a contented, "I'm lovin' it.


The prevalence of obesity and being overweight is higher for Christians than for any other religious group. Atheists even weigh less than born-again believers.

What do you think? Are you surprised? Disgusted? Convicted to be different?

I have a theory on why we are overweight.

Christian = Church = Potlucks = Fellowship = Company = Homemade Ice Cream = 12 Milky Way Bars drenched in Sweetened Condensed Milk

I am praying about beginning a Weight Loss Journey on this blog in the fall since I have a few readers to be accountable to. Who's with me?

I DO think he can dance!

I'm rooting for Kent Boyd!
My niece knows him so that is what caught my attention at first, but now I think he's really going to win the whole thing.

Jul 23, 2010

Ragin' Cajun

Welcome to the Bowman's New Orleans Grill.
Tonight's Special is a Courtbouillon (pronounced coo - be - yon) of celery, onion, bell pepper, jalapeno, garlic clove, and tomato sauce served over long grain white rice. The cost is $25.00. Your chef is well trained in food preparation and takes his job very seriously.

Pardon? You are asking what kind of meat is in the dish? I'm so sorry, ma'am. I'll show you.

It has the texture and look of turkey. But it's not turkey.
It's turtle.

After $7.00 in chicken livers and $18 in trot line hooks, Drew finally caught a snapping turtle in the pond.

WORD POLICE WARNING: The word "ain't" is used in this video twice. Sadly, the first time is me. I apologize. I'm blaming it on my nerves. I was a little jumpy.

WARNING: A turtle WAS harmed in the making of these videos.

Jul 15, 2010

On the eighth day... Eve buys a new dress.

She went all out. A NEW dress with tags hanging on it that has never been worn. It's from Ross clearance rack ($12.99) which isn't quite Anthropologie, but still.

Eve is getting nervous although she promised herself she wouldn't. Her class reunion (12th, since the 98ers skipped having a tenth 'cause that's how we roll) is quickly approaching this weekend and Eve is trying to figure out how to dress. There are many options...

Wear all black because then I will look skinnier and maybe fool everyone into thinking I weigh the same that I did in high school.

Wear something in my closet because no one has seen me for twelve years and possibly will never see me again.

Wear a classic outfit (black skirt and white button down) that will not look cheesy in ten years when I look at the pictures.

Wear something that I wore in high school so they can say, "It's weird, but Joni has not even changed."

Wear jeans to appease Mike Vondran who wrote in my yearbook "For Gosh sakes, Joni, please buy some jeans!"

Wear a mustard yellow dress that is 100% Cotton so that I can be a wrinkled up mess when I arrive at the bowling alley.

(I know, it's at the bowling alley. Tell me again why this is stressful?) Eve turned to her favorite designer, Anna Maria Horner, for help. "Please, Anna, what would you do to this dress?" Anna replied, "Add my fabric, dummy." (I know that Anna would never talk to me like this. She's just too nice. But it was midnight, and Eve gets a little pushy, you know.)

Eve heeded Anna's advice and added a panel to the bottom of the dress so that there would be no incidents when leaning over to pick up a gutter ball.

And then Eve gathered a ridiculous amount of fabric into a flower to pull it all together.

As Eve was cleaning up scraps, she spotted the apron that she found at Pier One clearance. Eve would never wear it to the reunion for fear of being mistaken for the waitress, but Eve went to bed with a smile, because it just looked so cute on the mannequin.

Thank you, Anna. I wish that I were you.
Then I might have a job to brag about at the reunion.

Jul 12, 2010

A reminder for Momma's...

Heat exhaustion is a milder form of heat-related illness that can develop after several days of exposure to high temperatures and inadequate or unbalanced replacement of fluids.

Warning signs of heat exhaustion include:

heavy sweating

muscle cramps




nausea or vomiting


Poor Drewby.

I miss Cole Allen.

He loves icy pops, Gatorade, thick turkey sandwiches, shooting paint balls at shed doors, four-wheeling, kayaking, dark bedrooms, shopping, and shoes.

We have a big empty space at our house.

And in our hearts.

A week wasn't long enough. Come back soon!

Jul 9, 2010

Proverbs 22:6

When it comes to raising two boys to love the Lord, we can use all the help we can get. I am amazed every day at things that God reveals to those that are earnestly seeking to do His will. You can just imagine my thrill when I received a message in my inbox from an old school friend.

Hey Joni, I have some thoughts on parenting a tweenager. Since all kids are different I don’t believe there is a formula. However, as a youth leader who has seen hundreds of teenagers pass through the church, there does seem to be a pattern. I would strongly advise you to make your kids go to church and youth group. Quick story: I was talking with my wife and another guy in his 20s when a mother came up to me and said “My daughter (10 yrs) doesn’t want to go to church. I can’t make her. What should I do.” I responded by saying, “My parents made me go.” My wife said, “My parents made me go.” And the guy with us said the same thing. That’s 3 people in their 20s—an age demographic missing in most churches—who were not only in church, but committed to the mission of Christ, and they were forced to go to church as kids.
Two other thoughts:
You and your husband have to model what is real. You have to exhibit the Fruits of the Spirit. Your kids have to see you on your knees and in Scripture. They have to see you love the unlovely. If they don’t see it in you, it won’t be real. I asked a father of two daughters who love the Lord how he raised them to be that way. He said he’d let them answer. They both sent me e-mails that said the things above. They had Christ modeled to them, not just taught.
Last thing, and then I’ll leave you alone! Materialism and Contemporary American Christianity have a chokehold on our society. My wife and I are saving our tax returns for the next decade to take our son to an impoverished nation when he is 10 or so. We want him to see what the rest of the world is like outside of this illusion we call America. If you have the resources, I strongly recommend taking your son on a 2-week mission trip to an impoverished country.
As a youth pastor I am so happy to hear that you take this seriously. We need more parents like you.

I appreciate his genuine care and concern for Drew, Nate and I as parents, and his teens. I am so thankful for the body of Christ that rallies one another to stand for what is right and pure and true.

I have a few questions and answers for you...

1. Who influenced you and how?
My parents... their Christianity shaped every avenue of their life. My mom taught me loving submission (even when it was hard to do) and my dad taught me the importance of modesty.

2. Did your parent(s) "make you" go to church and youth group?
Most definitely.

3. What is the biggest parenting struggle you have?
Disciplining with wisdom. Which battle to fight... which lesson to teach... holding back anger.

4. What is one thing you hope to accomplish by the time your children leave your home?
A maturing personal relationship with Jesus Christ. How to treat their spouse. And doing their own laundry. That would be nice.

The goal of godly parenting is to raise children who know the Lord as their personal Savior and who love His Word. In order for this to happen, parents must:

1. Consistently be involved with their children in order to create a nurturing atmosphere

2. Clearly instruct their children according to God’s Word

3. Enforce the consequences for disobedience

4. Encourage the conformity to what is virtuous

Pastor Terry Covey

Jul 6, 2010

Still frequenting Goodwill weekly...

I love the fact that I can buy stuff that I wouldn't buy full price at Target for fear that I would never wear in public.

Like fedora hats. And furs. And bikini bottoms that will never see the sun.

And Audrey Hepburn sunglasses.

So, tell me, what bargains have you found lately?

On Monday I bought two new Target shirts (Liberty of London) and four skirts.
And a seashell necklace.
And those dinner plates that sit on your face.

Nice try, Joni, buuuut, no.

July - April

*insert uncomfortable blog apology here explaining all the lame excuses why I haven't been posting*

Whirrrr. Click. Rewind.

movie. children's church. fireworks. pond. drew gone to chesapeake bay. fireworks. paint. laurie, jude, and maddie overnight. pond. cole left and i cried. james river. cole here all week. arrival of baby carsen. vbs. morgan's graduation party. pond. new conference church in lima. ohio trip. bible study. paint murals for vbs. pool. church. finn's last game. pond. abbie's wedding. rehearsal. sew. sew. sew. sew. drew game. awards assembly. school picnic. serve at 5th grade graduation. kindergarten graduation. decorate for graduation. church. soccer games. soccer pictures. games. practice. ohio trip. sort Grandma's stuff. volunteer. games and practices. church. ben and kim's wedding. meeting after school. volunteer. games and practices. sew annual meeting dresses. children's church. ramble. my best friend is pregnant! alisha's baby shower. blackout. talent show. laura's for last bible study. dentist. church. practice and games. mother's day breakfast. day of prayer at armory. field trip. awana graduation. church. practices and games. awana store night. nate's birthday. MOMS group. work kindergarten registration. volunteer. pictures. practice and games. dentist. ellie's birthday party. awards assembly. games. church.

Now you're caught up.
And I'm exhausted.

I'll try to do better on the blog thing.

Jul 5, 2010

Boots, a Barn, and a Beautiful Bride.

Carefully sewn dresses hung in a closet.

Scribbled line-up notes thrown away.

Guitar chords faded.

Tears wiped away.

Hydrangeas wilted.

Tissue paper balls crushed.

Cake eaten.

Taillights disappearing down the lane.

It's all over and Abbie's hitched, but what remains is a love big enough to last a lifetime.

Love is right here. Love is alive.
Love is the way, the truth, the life.

Love is the river than flows through,
Love is the arms that are holding you.

Love is the place you will fly to,
Love never fails you.