Jun 3, 2009

Homesick

When I was a sophomore, the house that I grew up in was sold to Lowe's who promptly tore it down and put in a parking lot. This all passed quickly through the eyes of a teenager, busy with Young Folks and a boyfriend, acting like she didn't care. I remember standing up the street and watching the bulldozers knock down the schoolhouse that my mom and dad bought for cheap and lovingly restored into a home. The bricks tumbled down, the roof caved in, the windows shattered, and the neighbors all scattered.

My parents built a barn with an apartment on the end where we lived while the new house was being built. I spent the rest of my sophomore year and part of my junior year in the barn. Then we moved into the new house. I was even busier with yearbook, YF's, entire weekends spent in southern Ohio, after school jobs, and school. The house was awesome, and mom and dad spent many hours trimming and painting, but I was nowhere around. The end of my senior year came and went and quickly moved into fall when I got married and moved eight hours away.

When I moved to Virginia, and even still to this day, I get the question, "Do you get homesick?" The answer is Yes. But the home that I grew up in, the one that holds all of my childhood memories, the house that I learned about life in, and the rooms that still come back to me when I dream, is gone. I get homesick for a house that only lives in my happiest memories. When I would go to mom and dad's to visit, I didn't even know where she kept her measuring cups in the new house. Or the plates I should use to set the table. And I would feel something in the pit of my stomach. It felt like the loss of something that I loved so much but yet took for granted.

And now I feel the same way again.

I'm homesick.

Homesick for something that will never be the same again. Homesick for something that our parents poured their love and energy into that can quickly be ripped apart. Homesick for my friends that are all scattered in different areas and stages of life.

But, here's the thing.

One house got torn down.
But a new one was built.

Now there is room for more people and more holidays and more birthday parties. My parents are happy in their house in the country with baby ducks being hatched on the pond. My friends have their own houses and are doing whatever it takes to follow Christ. I have my own house now. I am a parent building memories and teaching my children about Jesus. Everything is okay.

And everything is going to be okay.
He's given us a promise.
Luke 18:29-30

9 comments:

McMaster and Storm said...

i'm glad i got to visit your brick house way back when!

oh, and i have a story about swimming in BF's pond........i punched your brother smack dab in the nose....perfectly......& hard.......i was maybe 8 or 10??

your house made me think about the pond scenario!

wow, a lot has changed since i talked to you on the phone on tues morn...
but, we are now thinking change is a good thing and now are excited about it & the things going on....
A minister told people ....."don't worry you'll have a place to worship"! Love that!
love,
k

Donnelle said...

LOVE this. What a great way to describe what so many of us are feeling. By the way - the gift was AWESOME. :)

katie said...

Ditto. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I was just thinking this morning of several little things that I've had to force myself to do and they were hard and uncomfortable at first, but they turned out some of the biggest blessings ever. I was thinking of the Twin Oaks Bible study on Wednesday mornings and thanking God for the courage to get in my car that very first morning- to the house of a lady I didn't know, down a road I'd never been on to meet a dozen other ladies I didn't know either.

So, when we can't see exactly where the road goes, we can rest in the fact that we know One who does and we know He's waiting at the end.

hubbardgirl said...

things are definitely looking up......thank you Jesus. you said it perfect, joni. change,but Jesus Christ the same forever!!!!!

Jill Elaine said...

...and this made my tears run freely. Homesick. That would be the perfect way to discribe how I've felt lately. Don't want things the way they are but love the memories of how they were. Keeping our eyes on our ultimate goal...
Jill

Amber said...

Homesickness brings so many feelings into your heart,soul and mind! First you want to cry, then you want to shout, then you just want to curl up and not face the world. I make myself sick over so many things on earth, then God has a way of coming int my mind, and saying child, you are only here for a short period of time, your Home is above where there will be no more sickness, tears, sadness. That is what I put you on earth to strive for. There are so many paths to take, but by the Grace of God we shall find our way to our everlasting HOME!!! Where we shall gain our crown, and fly with angels wings, join in that band and sing praises in the heavenly land!! Praying for all that has a choice to make, that God in them shall show the true straight and narrow! God be with you all! To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. when God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you!

waiting for heaven said...

scripture tells us most divisions are not of God, but Acts 15 suggests that sometimes God wants to divide and multiply. This doesn't mean that one side has to be wrong and one right,but simply that more people can glorify God. (Beth Moore)

McMaster and Storm said...

yes, that is fine & dandy about yardage....

email me and i will give you our address......
mcmasterandstorm@embarqmail.com
or you might {probably have the ohio directory}
please let me know $ +shipping & handling & I do need your address because I don't have a Eastern directory-shame on me!
k

Jill Elaine said...

Tell your son who is have a bday that I'm glad he liked the picture of Jesus! I found it online somewhere awhile back and saved it. Don't even know where it was I got it!
Jill